A tailored version of Clement Clarke Moore’s classic ‘A Visit From St Nicholas’ for all my diet restricted friends out there.
T’was the night before Christmas when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse,
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In the hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.
Everyone was supposed to be snuggled in bed,
But one woman had troubled thoughts in her head.
‘With so many Christmas day foods I can’t eat,
My disappointment tomorrow will be hard to beat.
Stuffings with bread and mince pies with flour,
That smell so damn good I will want to devour.
Cheeses a plenty and nuts in the cake,
My joy at the meal will be hard to fake.
So many items are unavailable to me
Perhaps I should make one last Christmas plea,
To buy gluten free sausages before the shops shut
And please mix the mash with milk of coconut.’
She sighed wistfully at this far-fetched wish
And went to sleep dreaming of some ‘free-from’ dish.
The next day she wandered all day quite dreary,
Dreading the food and getting a bit teary,
She walked into the dining room feeling dejected…
But the food on the table was not what she expected!
No nuts, no wheat, no milk, nor gluten
And the Christmas cake had nothing but fruit in!
Her joy was unbounded and with a great cheer,
She chugged down a glorious gluten free beer.
She stood up at the table and offered a toast,
To her family around her, whom she loved the most;
“I may not eat the same as I used to” she cried
“But with this incredible meal I see before my eyes,
You have provided a true Christmas miracle,
So much so that I’ve gone bloody lyrical!”
And before she got emotional, she stumbled to say,
Thank you to them all on that Christmas day
So she shouted loud, as her eyes welled at the sight
“Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!”
Merry Christmas and I hope all your December 25th food wishes come true.
Restricted Diet Girl
“Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind” – Mary Ellen Chase